"Special"

Today was my granddaughter's 9th birthday. I can't imagine where 9 years have gone. It seems like only yesterday that she was 10 minutes old and I was holding her in my arms telling her that she was "special" I have told my grandchildren that on a very frequent basis I want them to know that they are indeed special. So many people try to make their children and grandchildren feel like they are just junk and that they have absolutely no worth in life. Guess when you get down to the bottom line that is the way I grew up never feeling like I had any worth at all. As a matter of fact that is pretty much the way I feel even at my age right now. (which I won't give our but let's just say I have been able to vote for many many many years now.) Right now I would say I am so far down in the dumps and feel so low that to even look up and see the bottom is totally impossible for me to even imagine. My husband and I either gave away or sold practically everything we owned including our Pickup truck and furniture and move to the country of Haiti to be missionaries. Well without going into all the details and saying anything bad about anybody we are back in the states and living with our two daughters, three grandchildren another single mother and her two children. I know that we need to get our own place somehow. But to do that I need a job and to get a job we need a vehicle but, to get a vehicle I need a job for money but to get the job we need the vehicle but to get the vehicle..... I guess by now you get the picture I think it is called a catch 22. So say by some miracle we get the vehicle and I get the job then we need to save money to find a place to live and then we have no furniture at all. Well I guess we do have some furniture. I have a futon and my husband has a recliner that he doesn't like. But we are getting ready to celebrate our 40th wedding anniversary. (ok, so I just told you if you take the time to just about figure out how old I am) and we are right back to where we were before we got married. But then we were young and ready to take on the world and had our whole future in front of us. Now it seems like our whole life is behind us and some days I am not sure it is even worth getting out of bed. The only thing I have right now is that one of my daughters is in Holland visiting her very good friend and she has bought me a purse and promises to buy me other gifts there. She tells me if I don't get out of bed she will just keep the purse for herself and she knows how much I love purses. Well I will try to write tomorrow and maybe then I will be in a more cheerful mood. Probably not but well there is always hope I guess. Oh, by the way my granddaughter had a very happy birthday and is now officially 9 going on 18 she thinks.