Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Life is Subject to Change

I know it has been a VERY long time since I have updated my blog and I am going to try to change that starting now. 

A lot has happened in my life in the time I have not been active here.  First 3 years ago my husband and I moved back to Florida from Pennsylvania to live with our daughters and 3 grandchildren.  That in itself took some adjustments for all of us.  To be honest I think we are still adjusting to the changes. 

Then on January 24, 2013 my husband of 45 years suddenly just passed away.  I was at work with one of my daughters and the other daughter was home here with her dad.  She came downstairs to fix him some lunch and he had already passed away.  She called us at work and the emergency crew.  There was nothing they were able to do for him.  They said he passed away immediately from a severe heart attack.  He had not been in great health for the prior year but to say we were expecting this would be so totally wrong.  Somehow we made it through the next few days after that and somehow I have been dragging myself through the almost 4 months since this.  My husband and I had been married for 45 years and he had just celebrated his 66th birthday on January 15th.

I have gone through so many emotions since that day.  I have been mad, sad, anything I could feel I have felt.  Lately I have found myself in a minor state of depression.  I would cry at the drop of a hat and sometimes had no idea as to why I was even crying.  But last night I think I turned a corner.  For the first time in almost 4 months I did not go to bed and lay there and cry.  I have decided that tomorrow is my 65th birthday and I am going to have a great birthday and I am going to have a great rest of my life and I don't plan on dying anytime soon.  I want to be around to not only see my grandchildren grow up and get married but I intend on seeing great grandchildren.  So today is the first day of my new not depressed life.  I don't actually know if anybody will read this post but to be honest I don't really care.  If someone does that is great but I didn't write this for anyone else I wrote this for ME!  If you read and want to make a comment go for it.