Why am I here anyway?

I am sitting here trying to think of something that I could post and my mind is a total blank. It seems like since we have come back from Haiti I have turned into a vegetable. I am not a productive person at all anymore. I don't seem to have any purpose for my existence. I have no job right now because we have no transportation to get me to and from to work. So with no transportation comes no job and with no job comes no money and with no money comes with well nothing. I have heard it said before that money is not the most important thing in life but it is way ahead of whatever is in second place. Well, I am beginning to think there is some truth in that. I used to love to do counted cross stitch. I could sit for hours in the evening and work on making something I thought was beautiful out of just a plain white piece of cross stitch material. I once worked on a piece called "Rural America" for two years off and on. I would threaten to throw it out because it was such a big project, so I would lay it aside for a few days and do something else that only required a day or two and then would go back to the big project. When I finally finished it I found an old frame made out of very old barn wood and framed it in that and it became my masterpiece. So much for that because right now that "masterpiece" is in a storage warehouse that we don't have the money to pay for today so we will be locked out of it until it gets paid for. That will happen because our oldest daughter is taking care of it for us. I don't know what we would do without her. There is not a day that goes by that I don't cry lately because children should not take care of their parents... parents should take care of their children. But that is not the case right now. So guess I just need to learn to deal with it until things change for us. I guess it is so hard because I started working for the things I wanted (not needed) when I was 16 years old and I have worked pretty much ever since that with time off for babies. But now that is not an option for me. I can remember when I would go and buy several cross stitch books at a time and then decide if I really deemed them a worthy pattern to make. Now I would give anything to be able to go and purchase a good pattern, material, thread and everything necessary to make something. I used to do my counted cross stitch as a way of retaining my sanity. In the hard times it really used to help me keep my mind off the problems for a while and now I really think it would help again. But, oh well guess it is not in the picture for me right now. So maybe I will just lose my sanity or who knows maybe I already have and just don't know it yet. Ya Never Know.