Shoot Fire and Save Matches

I has been a very very very long time since I have posted anything on my blog.  So I thought with everything that is going on in my life now would be a good time to start posting again.  I don't have a clue if anybody reads what I am putting here and to be truthful I don't really care.  This is going to be a time for me to just let so to speak.

Lets see where to start, well, a little over three years ago my husband and moved from Pennsylvania back to Florida to live with our two daughters and three grandchildren.  In that situation there have been some great times, some good times and to be honest some bad times.  I do believe that the great and good times far outweigh the bad times.  As a matter of fact I know they do.  Last night for example we went to the high school football game to see one of my grandsons march in the band.  Their band has over 300 students in it and to say they are awesome would truly be an understatement.

But, to some of the bad, My husband got sick a little over a year after we moved back and had to have 4 stints put into his heart to try to unblock his arteries.  He was never the same after this procedure and then this last January 24th he just instantly passed away from a massive heart attack.  We were married for 45 years and it was a couple of weeks after his 66th birthday.  To say I am lost would be another understatement in my life.  We were together from the time we were in high school ourselves and to now not have him feels like someone just ripped my heart out of my chest.  He was always a very outgoing man and I was always the one hiding behind him.  So now there is nowhere to run and definitely no where to hide or more specific no one to hide behind.

I am trying with much difficulty to move forward with my life I started to say move on but I don't believe moving on quite describes life anymore, just moving forward and sometimes actually taking a step backward. But I have in the last two months enrolled in college.  That is right I am 65 years old and have finally decided to go to college and get a degree in accounting.  I can't say it is easy but then again nothing worth doing is always going to be easy.  I am having to learn how to study again and to take the dreaded tests but with the help of my daughters I am plugging away at it.

Next, Randy (my husband) and I were involved for many years working in missions in the nation of Haiti.  I have not been back to Haiti since 2006.  In a little over a week I will be going back to Haiti for a week to stay in Fond Parisien where we last worked.  To say I am nervous about going into Haiti without Randy in front of me would be a BIG understatement.  But I am going to do it even though some moments I tell myself I am so stupid for doing this.

So this is where my life is at this point and if I can keep up with things, (family, work and school) I will try to keep some updates here on my blog.  If anyone reads it then that is all good and if nobody reads it then that too is all good.